It's like. I don't see a point in going out anymore. I wanted to head out so I could see you. So I dressed up for you. Then you couldn't go. What's the point of me dressing up. I don't want to wear so nice just to buy jewelry? It was supposed to be for you.. It's so warm now. If I went out with you I won't complain. But I'm not anymore. I changed into less formal clothes. My hair still in a mess. Eyes tired and red. Tear-stained cheeks. 

Now all I feel like doing is just lie on the bed crying. Not thinking about anything else. Not eating. Not being disturbed by anyone. I just want to be alone. 


what am I thinking. I shld be used to it.